Today was the day all autism parents dread. The day the school calls and says your child needs to go home due to behaviour. Luckily for us it didn't happen until April. He's done so good and is blowing his teachers away academically. But his behaviour today was not good. Not good at all. Chairs were thrown. Teachers were spit at. Thankfully I have a very understanding workplace and I was able to leave work and take him home. The moment he seen me he knew and the tears started. They were going on a field trip today. An awesome one that he would have really enjoyed. They were going to see the recycling plant. But Kailem knew the second he seen me his teachers were telling the truth when they said his mom was coming to get him. I got to the school as the bell for lunch rang. I seen him literally running out the door in his Spiderman jacket and matching rain boots. Tractor in hand. Ready to go play. "Kailem!" I said. He freezes and looks at me. "Let's go back inside" the tears start and he puts down the tractor and comes and takes my hand. Inside we go. He's crying, I'm trying not to. "Let's find your teacher" so we head into his class and find his teacher and the CYW in his class. "You need to apologize" I tell him. And he does. Even sincerely. He knew that he really messed up today. We grab his bag and head to the car to go home. At home we cleaned up his cars and put those away for the rest of the day and took his tablet away. As I sit here writing this he's got part of his cheese string hanging out of his mouth eating his lunch. Hopefully he learns that his behaviour has serious consequences.
Friday, April 27, 2018
Today was not a good day
Monday, February 19, 2018
Today was a good day... Mostly
Happy Family Day!
for those who don't live in Ontario or any other province that celebrates it, Family Day is a holiday that the Provincial Government introduced in 2008 to celebrate the importance of families. I used to make a Family Day turkey and said I was going to start a thing and that others would start making Family Day Turkeys. That only lasted a couple of years. Instead, we try and bring the kids out and do something fun. Most years we go to the local Bushplane Museum. It's an event that has really picked up. Used to just be the half-priced admission and a scavenger hunt for the kids. Maybe some crafts. This year there was so much going on. It was busy but not overwhelmingly so. Although I feel like that was partially cause we went earlier in the day. When we were leaving it was definitely starting to pick up. There were games like mini putt, bean bag toss and a ball toss. The local kennel club was there with therapy dogs and dogs doing agility demonstrations. There was a Hap Ki Do demonstration, a magic show, crafts and three different bouncy castles! The best part was the bouncy castles were properly monitored! Adults were counting the kids that went in and timing them so everyone had a chance. Unruly bouncy castles are the bain of my existence. They can make or break an event, even for those with children without disabilities. Kailem did really well waiting his turn. Only needed a couple of reminders. We also saw Queen Elsa (briefly) and Chase from Paw Patrol. They also had one of those Child Identification programs. We got a kit done up for Kailem and he did amazing getting everything done. They do pictures, fingerprints, special marks, weight, height, and a dental imprint. I thought he was going to have a hard time with the dental imprint but he opened up and chomped right down. He did, however, have a hard time at the scale... and frankly who likes being weighed. Hopefully, we never need to use this kit but I figured it was good to have. We didn't get Madison done cause when we stopped at a really lame vendor show before going to the Bushplane Museum she got her face painted like a unicorn (her favourite thing in the world). So I figured we would do it for her next time.
I always get nervous going to these kinds of events. Cause I just don't know how my kids are going to be. Madison is usually pretty good when we go to the Bushplane Museum and she's been there a bunch so it doesn't trigger her anxiety. Kailem however who knows how he's going to be once we get out of the house. But today was a good day. Only Ian was grumpy near the end cause he didn't get much sleep and had to go to work at 4.
for those who don't live in Ontario or any other province that celebrates it, Family Day is a holiday that the Provincial Government introduced in 2008 to celebrate the importance of families. I used to make a Family Day turkey and said I was going to start a thing and that others would start making Family Day Turkeys. That only lasted a couple of years. Instead, we try and bring the kids out and do something fun. Most years we go to the local Bushplane Museum. It's an event that has really picked up. Used to just be the half-priced admission and a scavenger hunt for the kids. Maybe some crafts. This year there was so much going on. It was busy but not overwhelmingly so. Although I feel like that was partially cause we went earlier in the day. When we were leaving it was definitely starting to pick up. There were games like mini putt, bean bag toss and a ball toss. The local kennel club was there with therapy dogs and dogs doing agility demonstrations. There was a Hap Ki Do demonstration, a magic show, crafts and three different bouncy castles! The best part was the bouncy castles were properly monitored! Adults were counting the kids that went in and timing them so everyone had a chance. Unruly bouncy castles are the bain of my existence. They can make or break an event, even for those with children without disabilities. Kailem did really well waiting his turn. Only needed a couple of reminders. We also saw Queen Elsa (briefly) and Chase from Paw Patrol. They also had one of those Child Identification programs. We got a kit done up for Kailem and he did amazing getting everything done. They do pictures, fingerprints, special marks, weight, height, and a dental imprint. I thought he was going to have a hard time with the dental imprint but he opened up and chomped right down. He did, however, have a hard time at the scale... and frankly who likes being weighed. Hopefully, we never need to use this kit but I figured it was good to have. We didn't get Madison done cause when we stopped at a really lame vendor show before going to the Bushplane Museum she got her face painted like a unicorn (her favourite thing in the world). So I figured we would do it for her next time.
I always get nervous going to these kinds of events. Cause I just don't know how my kids are going to be. Madison is usually pretty good when we go to the Bushplane Museum and she's been there a bunch so it doesn't trigger her anxiety. Kailem however who knows how he's going to be once we get out of the house. But today was a good day. Only Ian was grumpy near the end cause he didn't get much sleep and had to go to work at 4.
Sunday, February 11, 2018
This is me
So I think I'm doing this a little backwards. This probably should have been my first post. You know the one that tells you who I am, What I do, What I want to tell you about, etc etc. However, as you will realize my life doesn't exactly follow the guidelines. I like to do things my own way. Hell, I have to do things my own way.
So Who Am I?
Well, my name is Jenn. Actually, it's Jennifer, But I only get called that by my mother when I am in trouble. And being that I am a grown adult who is 32 and has her own children that really doesn't happen very often these days. I have 2 of the most beautiful children. I know I am biased but I am often told this by other people too. First, we have my daughter, Madison. She is 7 turning 17. Attitude for days. But she is also one of the most sensitive and empathetic children you will ever meet. If you read my first post, you've already been introduced to my son Kailem. He's 4.5. He's so funny this guy and he knows it. Then there's my husband, Ian. We've been together for 11 LONG years and married for 2.5 of them. He honestly is the love of my life. He is my rock. We've been through things that most marriages fall apart from and we are still together. We also have 2 dogs. One GIANT lab/sheppard/chow mix that Kailem likes to ride like a horse named Badger. Badger is about 120lbs and he is 10 years old. Because of his size, we know that we are on borrowed time with him. Then there is Diesel... I kinda hate this dog. But he is AMAZING with the kids. Especially Kailem. How many dogs will sit there and let a child jam his thumbs into his eyes and do nothing but wag their tail?
What do I do?
Well, What don't I do? I am sure every mom will say the same thing. I work full time as a Customer Service Representative at a bank. I advocate for both my children. I try (and mostly fail) to maintain my home. I try to keep up with my art when I have time. I used to dabble in photography before my camera went missing from my vehicle.
What do I want to tell you about?
My life. My families life. My son Kailem has Autism (ASD). He was diagnosed officially at 2.5 We knew from about 18 months. My daughter Madison suffers from Social Anxiety Disorder (SAD), Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD), Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD), was clinically diagnosed with a phobia of heights, and they are watching for ADHD which is most likely going to get added to this list. My husband has ASD, GAD, ADHD, Depression and to top it all off Diabetes. This is why I say I have to do things my own way. There is a lot going on in my house. It takes a whole lot of energy to keep going. There are days I want to just run away. That everything is too much for me. But then Kailem says a new word or Madison does something awesome at school and it makes everything worth it. I'll make posts that talk about our journey and how we got this point.
Why do I want to tell you?
Because I want people to see a real special needs family. You hear all these inspiring stories online about all these awesome things people are doing for special needs people. But that doesn't shine a light on the rest of us. Doesn't really give people insight into what everyday life is like. The Real moments that matter. Like the first time Kailem said I love you. If someone else heard him they wouldn't have known what he was saying but I did and oh man did I cry. Or Madison walking on the balance beam unassisted at gymnastics for the first time.
Well, that's me in a nutshell.
So Who Am I?
Well, my name is Jenn. Actually, it's Jennifer, But I only get called that by my mother when I am in trouble. And being that I am a grown adult who is 32 and has her own children that really doesn't happen very often these days. I have 2 of the most beautiful children. I know I am biased but I am often told this by other people too. First, we have my daughter, Madison. She is 7 turning 17. Attitude for days. But she is also one of the most sensitive and empathetic children you will ever meet. If you read my first post, you've already been introduced to my son Kailem. He's 4.5. He's so funny this guy and he knows it. Then there's my husband, Ian. We've been together for 11 LONG years and married for 2.5 of them. He honestly is the love of my life. He is my rock. We've been through things that most marriages fall apart from and we are still together. We also have 2 dogs. One GIANT lab/sheppard/chow mix that Kailem likes to ride like a horse named Badger. Badger is about 120lbs and he is 10 years old. Because of his size, we know that we are on borrowed time with him. Then there is Diesel... I kinda hate this dog. But he is AMAZING with the kids. Especially Kailem. How many dogs will sit there and let a child jam his thumbs into his eyes and do nothing but wag their tail?
What do I do?
Well, What don't I do? I am sure every mom will say the same thing. I work full time as a Customer Service Representative at a bank. I advocate for both my children. I try (and mostly fail) to maintain my home. I try to keep up with my art when I have time. I used to dabble in photography before my camera went missing from my vehicle.
What do I want to tell you about?
My life. My families life. My son Kailem has Autism (ASD). He was diagnosed officially at 2.5 We knew from about 18 months. My daughter Madison suffers from Social Anxiety Disorder (SAD), Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD), Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD), was clinically diagnosed with a phobia of heights, and they are watching for ADHD which is most likely going to get added to this list. My husband has ASD, GAD, ADHD, Depression and to top it all off Diabetes. This is why I say I have to do things my own way. There is a lot going on in my house. It takes a whole lot of energy to keep going. There are days I want to just run away. That everything is too much for me. But then Kailem says a new word or Madison does something awesome at school and it makes everything worth it. I'll make posts that talk about our journey and how we got this point.
Why do I want to tell you?
Because I want people to see a real special needs family. You hear all these inspiring stories online about all these awesome things people are doing for special needs people. But that doesn't shine a light on the rest of us. Doesn't really give people insight into what everyday life is like. The Real moments that matter. Like the first time Kailem said I love you. If someone else heard him they wouldn't have known what he was saying but I did and oh man did I cry. Or Madison walking on the balance beam unassisted at gymnastics for the first time.
Well, that's me in a nutshell.
It happened again
It happened again. We tried to go out for dinner and Kailem wasn't having it. We don't go to restaurants very often. For this exact reason. Everything was a trigger. Not even giving him my phone to watch videos was going to keep him calm the whole time. We had already received our drinks and ordered Kailem's food. Our waitress came to take our orders and I told her that this isn't working today. We are just going to pay for our drinks and leave. She looked understanding. I told her Kailem has Autism and sometimes he just doesn't do restaurants. She said well hopefully we can try again another day. So I go and pay for our drinks and we pack up and leave.
I know people are going to say you didn't have to leave. People can just deal. But I didn't want to deal with the dirty looks. It's hard because he's so small and verbally delayed people just assume he's an unruly toddler. We get the"control your child" stares. Or the "we're trying to enjoy a nice family dinner but your kid is ruining it" looks. Sometimes we'll get the compassionate "been there done that" looks. When we do go out to eat it's usually at a fast food joint where screaming children is expected. But sometimes I just want to be a normal family. Do normal things. Not worry about triggers. Alas, that isn't my life. Because I am an Autism Mom.
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